By Dr. Gary Pusillo:

Lick this, suck this, stick this, smell this, taste this and you will receive a prize!

I recently attended the HH Backer Christmas Pet Show in Chicago which is an industry only show with all of the latest and greatest products you will see in stores.  What I heard sounded more  like a TV reality show where if you do not do something totally wired, you might get voted off the island.

Besides the visual diversity of the sales people, I found a majority of the pet treats, foods and “mystery meats” to be strictly oriented for the Petitarian (a person who lives life through their pet’s happiness and indulgences).

Petitarian products are mostly cute, acute (some very dangerous), and mysterious; a limited number of which actually based in reality or known science.

A typical Petitarian is a non conventional thinker, dresser and eater. Most are monogamous; dog or cat, bird or fish, reptile or amphibian.

Petitarians are evolving, becoming more like animals while their pets become more like humans. People throughout history have made pigs and jackasses out of themselves, but the Petitarian is morphing into shapes, and emotional packaging that defies natural selection.

The vendors at the show appealed dramatically to the uncontrolled urges of Petitarians who crave to make their pets into an ideal representation of a mystical world where pets care for them in old age, sickness and loneliness, instead of friends and family.

The Backer show successfully displayed the best diversity of products known to enhance an owners perception of their pet while at the same time contributing to a steady pruning of the tree of life and the manifestation of “Petitarian Heaven.”

Successfully the vendors contributed to the new evolution of human to animal by making them lick, suck, stick, smell and taste for a prize!